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car humor
by LastBestPlace 06 Aug '21

06 Aug '21

Last weekend, on my way home from campingI had a flat tire on I-35, So I eased over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out and reached in the side compartment I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my trailer facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nudity to the approaching drivers. But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my lifelike men. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody beeped their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me. He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper! "What's going on here?" "My trailer has a flat tire," I said calmly. "Well, what the heck are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?" I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him...... "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!" 😎

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St. Peter humor
by LastBestPlace 06 Aug '21

06 Aug '21

A young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident on the way to their wedding. Waiting to be admitted into Heaven, they began to wonder if they could still get married. When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St Peter said, "I don't know. You're the first ones to ask. Let me find out." Three months elapsed before St Peter returned. "Yes," he said, "You can be married in Heaven." "Wonderful," says the bride. "Great," says the groom, "but...what if it didn't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter loses his angelic demeanor. "OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me three months to find a priest up here ....Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

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nun humor
by LastBestPlace 04 Aug '21

04 Aug '21

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. "Hey, show us yer breasts, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks. Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross." Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!" Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?

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07/2021 Wedding week
by LastBestPlace 03 Aug '21

03 Aug '21

One of the highlights of the wedding week is the chance to spend some time with family and friends. Joe, Mo, Jake and Molly on top of Mt. Aeneas We also met a goat I named General George Thomas, in honor of a very large Civil War general nicknamed “slow trot”. The Jewel Basin extends from the ridgeline to the right. Sandy and the smallest out of town guest Sammy. Sally, Bryson, John, Nancy and Allysa out for a gorgeous float down the Middle Fork. Clear water; beautiful rocks. The wedding crasher on Thursday morning. Nadine, Mo and Nick were getting ready to take Ian and Melanie for their first trip in to Glacier National Park on a completely smoke free day. As Mo cleaned the car windows to ensure great views, I opened the hood to add wiper fluid, only to discover a pack rat had taken residence. Probably only there a day or two. This led to the purchase and deployment of rat traps around the house. At 2am on Saturday — the wedding day!!! — one of the traps sprung but did not catch anything. From the drops of blood by the trap and the smell, we surmise a skunk got a nasty broken nose. The corner of the garage still stinks. As for the pack rat in the engine compartment, we believe he exited the car somewhere in the park on Thursday. Sandy, John, Ian, Sally, Bryson, Allysa, Nancy, Jerry, Nick, Melania, Nadine, Mo, and home made pizza. Yummm! Lemon curd wedding cake frosting. The rehearsal. As the rehearsal is finishing up, Sally went over to the playground next door and comes racing back very excited, yelling “Nadine!! They’s got a spinny thing!!!”. Our children grew up in California, where any and all playground equipment that was fun and entailed any risk is outlawed. Quite a number of post wedding reception photos and videos were taken on the “spinny thing” The rehearsal dinner back at the house was limited in size by the number of cars that could fit in the driveway :-). “Is this thing plugged in?” photo Ian and Melanie, with the Great Northern range in the distance Smoke blowing in from afar provides us a colorful sunset. The guests have left. After a 2 week hiatus, I return to my boring morning run to the old bridge

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Hickory Dickory Doc humor
by LastBestPlace 02 Aug '21

02 Aug '21

Doctor Jones likes to stop at a bar after work and enjoy an almond dacquiri. One day, Dick the bartender runs out of almonds and uses hickory nuts instead. The doctor takes a sip and asks Dick, "Is this an almond dacquiri"? Dick replies "No, it's a hickory dacquiri, Doc."

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Newfoundland humor
by LastBestPlace 02 Aug '21

02 Aug '21

The day after his mother-in-law disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Twillingate, Newfoundland man answered his door to find two grim-faced RCMP officers. "We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your mother-in-law," said one of the officers. "Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked. The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some _bad news_ , _some good news_, and some _really great news_. Which would you like to hear first?" Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first." The RCMP officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your mother-in-law's body in the bay." "Lord sufferin' Jaysus!" exclaimed Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?" The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch." Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?" The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

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07/24/2021 The Bride and Groom
by LastBestPlace 02 Aug '21

02 Aug '21

Congratulations to Nadine and Mo!!! A fantastic wedding at the Izaak Walton Inn in beautiful Essex Montana. Great weather; great friends and family who were able to attend in person; great cake; great … great …. great!!!! Sandy and I are very happy for them. Just a few quick photos to share …. A quick thank you to Nadine’s cousin for the photography. I have only seen a few of the thousands of photos taken, and they are incredible!

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political humor
by LastBestPlace 17 Jul '21

17 Jul '21

Last Tuesday President Biden got off the helicopter in front of the White House carrying a baby piglet under each arm. The squared-away Marine guard snapped to attention and saluted, "Nice Pigs, Sir". The President replied, "These are not Pigs. These are Authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Vice-President Kamala Harris, and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. The squared-away Marine guard again snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "Excellent trade, Sir".

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irish humor
by LastBestPlace 15 Jul '21

15 Jul '21

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures. Over a double latte, the Greek mentions "We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo." "Aye, and it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices." "But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics." "Granted, but it was the Irish who built the first timepieces." Knowing that he's about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: "Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!" "Aye! True enough, but it was the Irish who got women involved."

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blonde humor
by LastBestPlace 15 Jul '21

15 Jul '21

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant and sarcastic manner that he was a lawyer, and threatened what would happen to her if she let them thaw out. Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans , please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up .. So she took them home and ate them. There are two lessons here: 1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as men think.

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