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406-2021 Happy Montana Day!
by LastBestPlace 06 Apr '21

06 Apr '21

Happy Montana Day. It is April 6 which is the telephone area code for the entire state of Montana (406). Today marks 3 years since my last productive day as a member of society, and the beginning of my retirement. A heart felt thank you to all those hard working tax payers who cheerfully contribute to my very happy lifestyle in the Last Best Place! It would not be possible without you. Definitely an uneventful year here. Some house work was completed. Did some hiking, some biking, some running, some skiing. Same old same old. What does retirement entail? My daily minimal run during the non winter season is to the old bridge and back, roughly a 4 mile round trip jaunt. April 4, 2020 a reasonably clear day was met with a snowstorm on the way. Sandy even called me as I approached the bridge, asking if she should pick me up (not an effing chance!) Nearly a year later, April 6, 2021, it is sunny and 55 degrees. Only a small amount of snow in the shade is left. The daily run is important. Never would have survived years of work without out it. A very good base for all the other activities. Daily dose of vitamin D to stay healthy. Get the heart rate and breathing elevated. Keep all the parts in good working order! I run, therefore I am. The Middle Fork of the Flathead River is as alive as I am. I am blessed to observe this during my runs to the bridge. It is designated a Wild and Scenic River. No dams allowed. The river level can change daily, sometimes quite dramatically. No two days are exactly the same; savor the moment while you can. There are no bad days -- but some days are really, really special. April 4, 2020 April 13, 2020 May 1, 2020 June 3, 2020 June 7, 2020 July 2, 2020 July 12, 2020 July 14, 2020 September 8, 2020 March 3, 2021 April 6, 2021 Retirement means I can make a serious effort to watch the sun rise every morning and the sun set every evening. It helps that I am blessed with an incredible location to view them. April 19, 2020. Sunset on the other side of the 18th fairway. Some snow remains on the lower Apgar Mountains. October 14, 2020. Fall sunset Christmas Eve, 2020. The sun is setting about as far left as it can on the horizon. January 19, 2021. Shades of red you never knew existed. February 1, 2021. The grass around the base of the tree shows what a warm low snow year it has been. February 24, 2021. It never ceases to amaze. March 8, 2021. The clouds light the sky on fire at sunset. March 23, 2021. Sunrise after a snowy night. The sun is minutes away. Retirement means having the time to watch a Mountain Ash change colors. Retirement means Happy Hour with the neighbors (and friends!) on the first fairway in the spring, with a view of the snow covered mountains of Glacier NP in the background. Retirement means hiking at Logan Pass with Sandy on October 9, 2020. This was the last day of the season you could drive to the pass before it was closed for the winter. Retirement means SKI! 38 days of downhill skiing this season. Retirement means 13 days of skinning up the mountain. Retirement means Scamping. Do I miss working for a living? Let me think about that some and get back to you

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container humor
by LastBestPlace 03 Apr '21

03 Apr '21

A side note on the container ship: A significant portion of the world’s commerce is shipped in those standard sized containers. In order for the containers to stack properly, they all have to be precisely the same size, either 6.096 meters or 12.192 meters long, which, amazingly, converts to 20 feet and 40 feet. The next time someone tells you that the entire rest of the world uses the metric system, smack them upside the head with a 5.08 cm by 10.16 cm

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old lady humor
by LastBestPlace 31 Mar '21

31 Mar '21

A cranky older woman, Ruth "in her senior years" was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process. When she appeared before judge Abrams, he asked her what she had stolen from the store. Ruth defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches you old fool.” The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store." The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?" The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband, Max, raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak. "Yes, sir, what do you have to add?" The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole two cans of peas.“

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church humor
by LastBestPlace 30 Mar '21

30 Mar '21

Toward the end of the Sunday service the minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands. The minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes. The minister said, "Walter, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," he replied gruffly. "That is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands. "Oh, Walter, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?" Walter tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived all them assholes." Then he calmly returned to his seat.

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03/23/21 Not Spring Quite Yet
by LastBestPlace 23 Mar '21

23 Mar '21

After 2 weeks of warmer weather lulling into thoughts of a very early Spring, I awake today to an inch or two of new snow. A simply outstanding view to wake up to. To paraphrase John Muir ... /"Whitefish Mountain is calling, and I must ski"/

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03/20/2021 Jim and Sandy thru the Looking Glass
by LastBestPlace 21 Mar '21

21 Mar '21

It has been a year and half since we visited the east side of the park. Don't usually go there in the winter, and since last summer all public roads on the east side of the park were closed to all but essential travel as part of the Blackfeet Nation lockdown. Last Thursday the closure restrictions on the reservation were lifted!!! Sandy and I went over with the bikes on Saturday and were greeted with incredible sights. The weather the last 2 weeks have been warmer than normal. Looking Glass highway was still closed for the winter, but the pavement was almost completely snow free and dry. This meant we could bike the road with no cars -- fantastic! Looking Glass Highway is quite special, as it is the course for the June Glacier Half Marathon which I have run all 3 times it was held. It is scheduled for June 26 this year, so this provided a chance to scope out the course. Not that I've forgotten an inch of it. I've run various half marathons for 35 years on all different types of courses, and Looking Glass Highway is far and away the most scenic one. Montana Hwy 49. Looking Glass Highway. The winter closure is just after the Two Medicine turn off. In the photo there are two cars parked next to the barricades. Blue sky with the ever present east side breeze, maybe about 40 degrees. Sandy is ready to go! We are not going in to Two Med, as that road is covered in ice and snow. Just here for the photo. We have the road to ourselves. We saw a total of 4 other people. This is our view as we bike up. Lower Two Med Lake is frozen solid. Scenic Point to the left, and Sinopah Mountain <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinopah_Mountain> is in the middle. Big Sky country. You should really see what it looks like in person! Further up the road, on our left framed by the trees is Scenic Point, one of my favorite early season hikes. The Poor Pensioner Sandy, a bit warmer after some uphill biking. This photo was as we were going up. Though we were in the sun, the wind kicked up and it started snowing on us, so we turned around ... Same location for a photo, 20 minutes later. Very cool watching the storm come in. Start of the drive home, treated to more great clouds. If the weather is good next weekend I'll have to come back and run up to the pass. Looking forward to that.

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engineer humor
by LastBestPlace 19 Mar '21

19 Mar '21

Why do most engineers wear short sleeves? Their wives want them to learn to use Kleenex. Why do some engineers wear long sleeves? Their wives gave up.

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Gun humor
by LastBestPlace 11 Mar '21

11 Mar '21

Where does a T.Rex buy a handgun? At a small arms store.

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03/10/21 Slammin’ down some shots
by LastBestPlace 10 Mar '21

10 Mar '21

The photo is of my second shot of the day — Scotch! My first shot of the day was Pfizer. Seemed worthy of celebrating.

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dead humor
by LastBestPlace 18 Feb '21

18 Feb '21

“They say you shouldn’t say nothin’ about the dead unless it’s good,” she said. Referring to her husband, she added: “He’s dead. Good!”

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