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06/09/2023 ~ 06/14/2023: Rafting the Smith River, part 2/4
by LastBestPlace 02 Mar '24

02 Mar '24

Smith River, Part 2/4 *DAY 2: Upper Scotty Alan to Lower Bear Gulch, 17 miles *It's a beautiful new day! Breakfast, break camp, pack the rafts and off we go. It is sunny and warm, and any apprehensions about controlling the rafts are gone within the first hour as the confidence of controlling the raft quickly builds. * * The river is brown with lots of silt due to it cresting. It's a bit wider now than when we started the day before, and the canyon walls rise 1000 feet around us. We had no cell service shortly after we had put in the day before, and will not have consistent service until our takeout. It's really wonderful to get away from civilization. We did see other rafters, but the permit system limits the number on the river. Over our 5 days, we would leapfrog past the same ones that would pass by us later. One group we passed by a number of times was an outfitter that provides service for a fishing tour. There would be a single individual in a large raft and lot of gear that would go ahead and set up camp for the fishing tour ahead of their arrival into the next camp every day. One of these rafts was run by a young man name /Crawdaddy/ (I'm not sure if we named him or that was the name he gave us), and anytime he passed by us we would ask him for a beer -- it was obvious he had a very large supply. After a few hours we stop for lunch underneath a large cottonwood tree. The weather and the views are both fabulous. The most surprising wildlife that I saw that day was a pelican. I had never heard of fresh water ones. The sides of the canyon had some color to them, as well as many caves. There are some larger caves that have trails to go explore them, but we did not do that this trip. We eventually reached a spot where we could see three Teepees and covered wagons ahead on the shore. We have reached /Heaven on Earth Ranch <https://deepcreekoutfitters.com/> . /The ranch is the only commercial facility to stop at along the river. Set in a charming location, it has a 9 hole golf course and a small store for resupplying rafters. We naturally stopped there. They do not have a liquor license for a bar, so they cannot sell drinks. On inquiry, for a donation friends traveling down the river can be provided with a libation 😉, and a number of donations were made 🙂 Hanging out at Heaven on Earth, libation in hand, with their pet calf Bella who really enjoyed being petted. It is a gorgeous sunny day with the thermometer showing about 78 degrees. Most of the crew remained at Heaven on Earth for a while, rented clubs and played 3 holes of golf. My understanding is that many more donations and libations were also procured during that time. Paul, Penny and I floated downriver in Pickle, since our campsite was only half a mile further just around a bend in the river, and we wanted to pitch our tents and take a rest (being elders y'know!). We successfully floated down, set up the tents we had, cracked a few beers and waited for the rest of the gang. After an hour and a half or so, I asked Paul about some gathering clouds off in one direction, and he assured me they were blowing the away from us. We continued to wait for the rest of the gang. As we waited it began to get more cloudy, and a small breeze became real wind. The sprinkling rain turned to a downpour, and then .... ... we got pelted with pea size hail, in addition to thunder and lightning. Mind you, this is just Paul, Penny and I at camp. The other three rafts have not yet appeared and had to float down the river in this weather!! I was fortunate in that I had all my gear with me in the raft which included rain coat and rain pants. Paul and Penny had some of their gear in one of the other rafts. Paul did have his tent which was set up and I had also set my tent up. Despite the thunder and lightning, we took shelter under a tree as the wind whipped hail was painful. My brand new tent got it's first test of inclement weather, and kept admirably dry inside. At that point we could see the remaining rafts coming down the river. It was a chaotic scene as the rafts beached, with everyone taking shelter under the trees. It was very wet and very cold due to the wind. Since I had rain gear on, I grabbed items which I thought would be most useful, which were the stove and propane, in order get something warm to eat and drink when the storm subsided. Keith had the very good sense to pull out the kitchen shelter and set that up. There was quite a bit of hail inside the rafts. With the shelter set up, the stove was brought inside it, set on the ground, and turned on to provide heat. I asked if there was anything I could bring anyone from the rafts, and the cold, wet com padres unanimously requested beer, which greatly helped revive everyone's spirits!. Austyn made sure Grandma Christine stayed warm inside the tent Paul had been able to set up. The aftermath of the storm is that misery loves company, and this was one of those bonding shared experiences of the trip that brought the group together. The storm did pass, and as the sun peeked back out equipment and clothes were hung out to dry. The Lower Bear Gulch campsite area did remain muddy, with pools of water to navigate around, but a delightful dinner and campfire that evening ended the day on a very high note. The evening campfire conversation focused on both the storm, and who won the round of golf they played. *DAY 3: Lower Bear Gulch to Park Flat (3), 7.9 miles *A sunny morning in no hurry, I took the time to climb up a nearby hill and get a view of the river and the campsite on the left side. Such a pretty area! Today is a short day, floating just shy of 8 miles total. The weather is superb, which allowed for fully drying everything out, then load the rafts and off we go

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06/09/2023 ~ 06/14/2023: Rafting the Smith River, part 1/4
by LastBestPlace 02 Mar '24

02 Mar '24

Smith River, Part 1/4 In June I had the extreme pleasure of being invited to join a group of 10 other people on 4 rafts to travel for 5 days, 4 nights for a total of 59 miles on the Smith River in Montana. It was so much fun that we all agreed to to enter the lottery for a permit for next year -- and probably every year after that!! The permitting process is run by the Montana State Parks, though the river itself traverses through a mix of public Forest Service and private lands. Campsites are assigned by the permitting system. More details about the river can be found at https://fwp.mt.gov/stateparks/smith-river The put in is at Camp Baker, and 5 days later the take out is right before Eden Bridge -- assuming you don't float past and miss it!! We stayed at the following campsites: Night 0: Paul and Jane's (former West Glacier neighbors) house in White Sulphur Springs, a short drive to Camp Baker in the morning Night 1: Upper Scotty Allen (mile 12) Night 2: Lower Bear Gulch (mile 29) Night 3: Parker Flat #3 (mile 37.9) Night 4: Middle Rattlesnake Bend (mile 47.4) I was invited along by our neighbors Paul & Christine, but did not really know the rest of the group at all, at least at the start, but by the end of the trip we had bonded into life long friends. Part of the rewarding experience of the adventure was getting to know and grow new friendships. This certainly culminated at the campfire on the last night, where few inhibitions between strangers remained, but more on that later 🙂 *THE TEAM: *There was a natural divide amongst the team based on age. The /youngins/, left to right Lyndsey, Lane, Jacee, Isaac, Melanie, and Austyn. They are obviously youngsters, sitting outside soaking up sunshine. The /elders/, from left to right. Paul, Christine, Penny and Keith (and myself not in the photo). They are obviously not youngsters, with little skin exposed sitting the shade. *DAY 0: West Glacier to White Sulphur Springs* I'm in Paul & Christine's truck that is towing their two rafts, heading from West Glacier to Great Falls where we will pick up Paul's sister Penny. We then continue on to White Sulphur Springs to spend the night at Paul & Jane's house, who generously let us stay there while they were out of town. The accommodations are great. The views of the Big Sky are wonderful. The beer at Two Basset Brewery <http://2bassetbrewery.com/Home.html> are excellent. And the sleeping bag on the couch will be more comfortable than the next 4 nights in the tent. *DAY 1: Camp Baker to Upper Scotty Alan, 12 miles *The 22 mile drive to Camp Baker on the dirt road takes about an hour. Arrangements had been made with a service to transport the vehicles to the take out. There had been quite a bit of rain on the east side, so the river was cresting and running very high. I was in the green raft "Pickle", with Paul, Christine and Austyn at the start. The red raft was named "Strawberry", the purple raft was "Grape", and the gray raft was .... well gray. There were a few things we learned right away as we launched. The biggest was that none of us had experience rowing on a river, at least with rapidly moving water. Another was that if you take a careful look at Pickle, there is no leg room for whoever is rowing due to a cooler being positioned in the way. The strength in rowing should come from legs, not arms!! Paul asked if I wanted to row first. After bumping into the banks for 10 minutes in a futile attempt at control, I was relieved of rowing duty and Paul took over. He fared no better rowing!! 40 minutes into Day 1 of a 5 day rafting trip, we rounded a corner where the raft was pushed into a wall surrounding the corner. The back of our raft was bumping along the wall, and I was sitting in the rear "crows nest" fishing seat that extend beyond the back of the raft. I crouched forward as much as possible to avoid being hit by the rocky wall as we bumped along like a pinball. I suddenly saw coming up fast ahead a dead tree sticking out from the wall at my head level. I instinctively ducked my head down and put my right arm up to protect my head, which did prevent the tree from hitting my head. My arm, though, snagged the branch knocking me off the raft and into the water. Did I mention this is only Day 1 of 5 days of rafting and 40 minutes into the trip, and already I'm thrown off? The good news is that I was able to quickly swim and grab the raft line, as Paul frantically tried to row towards any shore, which was challenging considering how rapid the current was. I do recall that when we did beach, the Strawberry raft was near us. Austyn was transferred to the Strawberry raft as it was larger. Penny was in the water assisting with the transfer, and getting back in raft was challenging in that swift current. The damage assessment was some scrapes and bruises on my right leg, and the toe of my right raft shoe tore giving me the open crocodile mouth look that I would have to live with the remainder of the trip. All safely back in rafts, we crack open a river beer and continue on our way, still rafting by braille. My expectations of the what the river would look like were very incorrect. I thought it would be a meandering river through the rolling eastern front range plains, when in fact it is through a cut canyon of steep rocky walls. Magnificent!! This was to continue the entire trip until it mellowed out on the last day. One of the fears that day was that the high current would cause us to float past our designated campsite. But with the day's experience of rowing we managed to make it to the Upper Scotty Alan campsite. Done with rafting for the day, it was time to unwind at camp. Our campsite had Canada Geese and their very young goslings living at it. They wandered very close to us. We counted twelve in one brood. 2023 is the last year that the campsites will provide latrines. Beginning in 2024 the rafting will be strictly pack in/pack out. The latrine at this campsite will not be missed!! It was about 100 feet up a very steep, muddy trail where a lonely commode in the woods awaited. The only redeeming feature was its excellent view of the river. The nightly camping portion of the trip complements the daytime rafting float. It's a time to unwind, crack open a few libations, review the good (and bad) events of the day, chow down, and tell jokes. This first night we had much discussion around how none of the rowers were able to steer the rafts, how fortunate it was we did not float past the campsite, how fearful tomorrow's floating may be, and so forth. I don't recall who made the comment that raft rowing on a river is supposed to be about 95% rowing backwards to avoid things, such as walls, snags, and rapids, but that discussion made an immediate and dramatic improvement in steering starting the next morning and for the remainder of the trip. The campsite bonding of the group, with even the goslings joining. I missed getting the memo that it was Melanie's birthday, and thus did not have the appropriate Hawaiian shirts in my wardrobe. Happy Birthday! We brought sufficient firewood with us for the 4 nights, in addition to an enormous amount of camping supplies. The weather the first night was exceedingly pleasant.

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phone call humor
by LastBestPlace 24 Feb '24

24 Feb '24

Guy travels to Europe for a vacation... it's his first time, he sees the sights, has a real good time... after a while he decides to call home... gets his brother on the phone and says 'so how are things back home?' ... and the brother says 'your cat died!'... the guy says 'you shouldn't break bad news like that, you should ...... break it to me gently... like, you should say, 'the cat crawled out on the roof... chasing a squirrel... and got stuck...we had to call the fire department... the fireman climbed up and got the cat, but on the way down he slipped... the cat fell to the ground...... we had to take the cat to the vet... they tried to save the cat, they even operated... on the cat... but it was too late... they couldn't save the cat'... that's how you should break bad news like that'... so the guys says to his brother, 'anyway, how's mom?'... and the brother says … 'SHE'S ON THE ROOF!'...

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restaurant humor
by LastBestPlace 20 Jan '24

20 Jan '24

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry" says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group. "But you can't come in here without a Thai".

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poison humor
by LastBestPlace 03 Jan '24

03 Jan '24

A man goes to his Rabbi and says, "Rabbi, I think my wife is trying to poison me." The Rabbi says, "I'll go talk to her." Three hours later the Rabbi comes back and tells the man, "I just spent three hours talking to your wife." The man asks, "What should I do?" The Rabbi responds, "Take the poison."

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teacher humor
by LastBestPlace 31 Dec '23

31 Dec '23

A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence........... The rest of the year went very smoothly.

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12/24/23: West Glacier Christmas Eve scenes
by LastBestPlace 24 Dec '23

24 Dec '23

It had been threatening to be a green Christmas here. December temperatures have been up in the 40s during the day, melting what little snow had fallen. Whitefish Mtn has been limited to only the north facing slopes being open, and even that is marginal at best. But yesterday we received about 2 inches of new snow. Not much, but enough to cover the landscape and provide us with a White Christmas! Just enough to allow for skiing right out the door and around the golf course, with blue sky and sun to brighten the views. I had the pleasure of cutting the first trail. May you have a great Christmas! Enjoy our winter views from West Glacier Apgar Mountain Golf course views. Frosted grass Strawberry Mtn. The Belton Hills. The mountains inside the park, not visible in the clouds. On the advice of a friend I took a quick drive inside the park. This view is about 10 minutes from the house. The photos do not do justice to how bright and blinding the snow covered mountains are. Absolutely brilliant to see in person. The iconic boat dock on Lake McDonald with the park's mountains beyond the end of the lake. And views from the old bridge. The park is on the right side in this picture. Looking upstream, with the park on the left side. Here's wishing Santa delivers your tickets tomorrow to come for a visit here this coming year!

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divorce humor
by LastBestPlace 23 Dec '23

23 Dec '23

An old man calls his son:”Listen, your mother & I are getting divorced. 45 years of misery is enough." "Dad, what are you talking about?" “We can't stand each other, I'm sick of her so call your sister & tell her.” The son calls his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" & calls her father. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do anything, we are flying home tomorrow to talk about this.” The old man turns to his wife "Okay, they’re coming for Xmas & paying their own airfares."

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fishing humor
by LastBestPlace 11 Nov '23

11 Nov '23

Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water. After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite. Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro asks, "What did you say?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro again asks, "What?" Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!"

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10/28/23: The year in sunsets
by LastBestPlace 28 Oct '23

28 Oct '23

A recap of the last year's sunsets, viewed from the house or while out on the golf course. We are blessed with a westward view out of the Great Room through the large windows. On some evenings the weather conditions contribute to incredibly colorful sunsets. When we purchased the house we did not know how valuable this unique location set up was -- absolutely priceless!! An unobstructed view across the golf course with no other houses or buildings visible!! There's no place like home, and definitely no place like this home. All photos are shot with either an iPhone 12 mini, or more recently an iPhone 13 mini. No adjustments have been made -- no Photoshop or light room color changes -- except using Preview to down sample to reduce the size. The colors are what the phone captured. Sunsets last about 10 minutes. We've gotten better at identifying ones that will be very outstanding, but one never knows how they will progress. Each one is unique, and sometimes what teases in the sky simply fizzles. Enjoy the highlights! This photo was taken this morning (10/28/23). The sun does not set in the morning, at least in these parts. Today is the setting of the full moon. We had an early season snowstorm on Tuesday, and on a clear night with a full moon the reflection on the snow can look like daylight. That's what greeted me this morning. That and the unseasonable 5 degree weather. 11/06/22. We had an early snow last November and I was able to ski around the golf course at sunset. It was even before the golf course ponds had a chance to freeze over. Alpenglow on the aptly named Strawberry Mountain 11/09/22: A "pink eye" sunset. You would swear the snow was pink. 11/24/22. Time for happy hour in the Great Room. 12/09/22: Another sunset ski around the golf course, taken at 4:14pm. The days are very short. 12/15/22: 4:35pm It had just snowed, leaving the trees white to contrast with the orange sky. 01/21/23: At 4:50pm, back at the house after a ski. 02/09/23: 5:59pm and the skies are on fire 03/08/23: 6:18am Another daylight moon set 03/09/23: 4:19am It was so bright outside that it woke me up early! 05/02/23 9:05pm So many photos taken that evening. I walked across the fairway to get the pond reflection. There are only 10 minutes of sunset, and the colors change by the second. So many choices of what to focus on, and so little time. Bonus points for those who can identify why this must be an early May photo! 09/06/23: 8:09pm It was fire season, and while smoke from somewhere adds color to the sunset rest assured the mountains are not burning. 09/17/23: Another evening that was very hard to select only one photo to show, so I chose two. So much color that evolved, and in so many directions. 10/05/23 I thought the evening's sunset was just "adequate", and then suddenly in the closing moments it turned purple!

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